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6 Ways To Get Over A Bad Breakup

by MIKA ROBINSON

Breakups are the easier said than done. No matter if you two were an item for 3 months or 3 years, you tend to get used to your significant other being around and now you’re back to square one. I know I’ve definitely been there. Crying to myself, my friends and GOD asking what’s wrong with me? Am I ugly? or just a terrible person and no one wants to be with me? I envisioned myself being alone for the rest of my life with just my pets to keep me company.
From my experience, going through a bad breakup took a toll on my overall productivity. I wouldn’t want to go out, do any work, clean my place or even properly maintain my hair, nails etc. All I felt like I could do was sit around and feel bad for myself. It took me probably a few weeks to get over the crying and reading old text messages to finally start to whip myself back into shape.  Here are the baby steps that I took to woman up and get my whole life back together.

Go for a walk

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Instead of sulking around the house and driving myself crazy, I decided to go outside and get some fresh air.  You’d be amazed how refreshing a quick 10-minute walk can be and how it really can help you think clearer. Also, the vitamin d that you get from sunrays has been scientifically proven to increase productivity and alertness, improve sleep, and prevent depression!
Build from taking walks to doing other things to clear your mind like going to a museum or anything that you find interesting. My activity of choice was going to the Botanical Garden because looking at the beautiful flowers and the view of the city always makes me happy.

Listen to some R&B favorites (especially breakup songs) and mourn your relationship by living vicariously through you’re favorite artist. 

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Throughout this whole recovery process, remember we’ve all been there, that’s why there are so many love/breakup songs about it. You are not alone, Toni, Bey and some other R&B songstresses got you. These are some of the songs that helped me get my life:

  • Free- Destiny’s Child
  • Another Sad Love Song- Toni Braxton
  • Best Thing I Never Had-Beyoncé
  • Irreplaceable: Beyoncé
  • Not Gone Cry- Mary J. Blige
  • As much as you may think it makes matters worst, it can actually help.

Pamper yourself!

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After all of my sleepless nights and crying like an overgrown baby, I looked at myself in the mirror and almost cried again but because of how stress I looked. At that very moment I picked up the phone and texted my good girl friend for a spa day and Tada! I was back to looking and now feeling a bit more like myself. When you look good you feel good.

Delete those text messages, emails or whatever it is that you keep going through to remind you of all the broken promises and past experiences (both good and bad).  

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It’s in the past so leave it there.  I swear the moment that I no longer had physical representations of my ex in my living space, getting over the hurt became much easier. I guess that whole out of sight out of mind thing is real. Don’t dwell over what could have been.

P.S. I’m all for blocking exes from being able to call/text you. We don’t want them talking their way back into our lives, now do we?

Write!

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You do not need to be a journalist to write about your experiences. Writing your feelings about your breakup can help you release some of the thoughts that you have bottled up inside, especially when no one is around for you to talk to. It also helps to write down inspirational quotes as a reminder that everything will be okay. I took the Mary Jane route and began to put positive quotes around my bedroom and bathroom to let the positive thinking really manifest.

Throw a party!

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And I don’t mean a pity party whatsoever. As extreme as this may be, it probably helped me the most. And yes I did throw an actual party. One Friday or Saturday night (I can’t quite remember which one) I told my girls to come to my place for my “liberation party” dressed up and ready to have a ball. I baked strawberry cupcakes and gathered some of our favorite snacks and of course drinks for the night of celebration. We we’re celebrating “freedom from our thoughts and behavior” that being brokenhearted can sometimes trap you in.

The best part of my “liberation party” was that I didn’t think about him who shall remain nameless once and I really enjoyed my night spending it with my ladies who always have my best interest at heart. Even if you don’t throw an actual party, just plan a night out with your girls to paint the town red.

The most important thing to remember is that a breakup is not the end of the world. With your ex out of your life you have now made room for someone who truly deserves you and all of you’re greatness. I’m sure there are many ways to get over a breakup but these were the initial steps that I took. Fast-forward to about 5 months later, I’m in a much better place but it definitely wasn’t a walk in the park. I’m still taking the necessary precautions to fully mend my little heart.

What are you guy’s personal recipes for getting over a breakup? Share them with us below or on Twitter #atbm


Since we discussed bad breakups, go check out why I’m enjoying be Single  

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