I’m high key sick of people asking me if I have children as if waiting to have kids is a terrible thing. But then again, how could they not when everyone and their momma is either expecting or have a baby. I get it.
I’m officially at the age where people always want to ask me about children. My natural reaction…
While I honestly believe 24 is still a bit young to have a kid I get why people ask. But here’s why I’m waiting to have kids.
1. Kids give me anxiety
What’s more frightening than getting stuck on the train with the lights cut off? Getting stuck on the train with a group of children going on a trip. Children run around, make a lot of noise and always do the least expected like throwing up (on my shoes, which actually happened to me this weekend).
2. I’m still a big ass kid myself
Six Flags, Chuck E. Cheese and practical jokes are all things that I still enjoy. I’d much rather play with kids than discipline them at this time.
3. I can barely take care of myself without having a mental breakdown
Now imagine me having to take care of myself and another human. That’s actually pretty scary if you ask me.
4. I’m still in that “i-prefer-dogs-over-humans-phase” of my life
When I see a cute dog I’m all googly eyed, jumping for joy wanting to give it the biggest hug ever. When I see a baby, on the other hand, I’m questioning whether I should touch it or not. Will it hate me and start crying hysterically? Possibly.
5. I just referred to a baby as “it”
Just another reason why I shouldn’t have a kid right now.
6. I do like kids, but I’m like them more when I can give them back
Me: Your baby is so cute. Can I hold him?
Baby: *cries hysterically*
Me: Okay here you go…byeeeee
7. Being responsible for someone’s life is…
Scary to say the least.
8. Did I already say kids give anxiety?
Wait, I did.
9. I don’t want to have kids until I’m comfortable
Comfortable in everything that is. My career, my home, my spouse. I’m not the type of person that can have a messy life and still manage to keep it together for her child. At least I don’t think I am.
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10. No fuck boy I’ve met thus far is worth me carrying a child for
That doesn’t even need any explaining. Me having a kid with someone is my personal gift to them. Until someone deserving of said gift comes along, no thanks.
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11. Speaking of, I’m terrified of giving birth
So one day I watched YouTube videos on child birth and my soul left my body. That probably wasn’t the smartest idea but I YouTube most things before I do them to get an idea of what to expect.
12. I’m still in the selfish phase of my life…and that’s okay bc I’m waiting to have kids anyway
I’m still at the point of my life where my free-time is reserved for me. On the weekends I want to go to out with my friends even if it’s just to dinner. I want to enjoy my ratchet Monday’s in peace and I want to oversleep when time permits.
My lifestyle is not suitable for a child and I’m not willing to change. I’m also not putting myself in the “predicament” to have to change either.
13. I’m not even sure if my motherly instinct has kicked in yet
And that’s not anything for me to be ashamed of so don’t you dare judge me either. When the time is right it will come. Until then, I am okay.
I’ll borrow someones kids, but I’m giving them back.