After giving up on reality tv for a few weeks, specifically Love & Hip Hop New York, I decided to tune in again because quite frankly there was nothing else for me to do at the moment and my Twitter timeline demanded it. Of course there was the regular degular drama filled plots such as “Tara and the boys” and Amina’s tearless crying antics but oddly enough, I was able to find something “thought provoking” thanks to Ms. Cardi B. She may come off as a-lot-a-bit ratchet but when it comes to her coins and her career she is more than just a regular degular smhegular chick from the BRONX.
Cardi B’s phone conversation with her incarcerated boyfriend Tommy (soon to be fiancée?) actually hit the nail on the head when it came to careers while being in love and/or married. While I totally disagree with Cardi saying how getting married through the prison system is “cute”, she does have a considerably good argument when it comes to a woman’s “place” in a relationship and/or marriage. Tommy was implying that once is he freed from jail that Cardi could stop all of her working and bookings to be a stay at home wife and make him some babies. Cardi’s response was priceless.
Cardi B: So, how I’m gone feed myself?
Tommy: I want you to wait till I come home so I can take care of you. I’ll do everything. I just want you to be a housewife. Like, chill.
Cardi B: A housewife?!
Cardi B Confessional: I love me some Tommy but I’m not feeling that whole being domestic and just having kids for the rest of my life type of things. I’m bout my BUSINESS. I’ll be damned if my career right now…I let it go…chasing a man.
Cardi goes on to talk about how Tommy doesn’t support her dreams “or whatever” but you can just watch the full episode to dig further into that.
I personally think it’s so 1950’s of a man to really think that the only thing that a woman wants to do with her life is stay at home and be a wife and mother to his kids. Don’t get me wrong; motherhood and wifehood may in fact be careers within themselves but 60+ years later women are living to fulfill their personal dreams and aspirations as men have done for almost ever and still manage to be awesome mothers and wives.
A man who doesn’t define his “manhood” (subjective term) by what he can do or provide for his woman should never be offended if she takes the initiative do for herself. This doesn’t mean that she values you less or is trying to emasculate you; she’s just capitalizing on the fact that she has a mind of her own and the means to achieve the goals that she has set for herself. Isn’t that why you were attracted to her in the first place? Or was it because she looked like she could swing a broom and cook a mean steak and that’s it?
I can see how two people who have their own goals set on how to break bread could be troublesome later along the line when it comes down to starting a family and such but that’s where compromise comes into play in a relationship. And no, I don’t mean the woman in the relationship automatically dropping everything that she has going on to protect the pride or ego of her man. I mean two mature adult’s having a conversation to seriously consider how they can grow together without totally putting their dreams completely to the side. Even if one person has to take the backseat for the time being that’s fine; as long as the end justifies the means.
It’s kind of annoying that we still have to discuss this topic in 2016.
Pointblank; period. Speaking from my own experience, as hard as I’ve been busting my ass to achieve the things I want out of life, I’d also be damned if I just dropped it all because some Knight (who may not even be MY Knight) in shining armor comes along and say’s “baby I got you, I’ll take care of you.” The same way I want to hold my own as a young adult so I don’t have to run back to my parents is the same way I’d like to hold my own in a relationship/marriage. My $150,000+ education and my determination as a functioning human being will never fail me if all else does.
Now, fellas. Before you begin holding “casting calls” for women to play the role of a wife and mother to your children, don’t think for one second that that entails her not being able to or wanting to do for herself first.